The Night Owl.

ABSURD.

I am in love. I have tried to fight it, oh trust me. I have tried my hardest to not fall for someone...but, I am FUCT.

Admittedly, I am scared shit less of what can be another epic emotional demise. But, its bad for an individual to completely close themselves off from another person...so I won't. I really just hope that I don't get fucked in the end. That is only for time to tell, and me not to stress about at this point in the relationship. The future is totally unpredictable...so God only knows what it may hold in store for me.

I have to stop thinking and just follow my heart. So, I will. My new infatuation is a very strong man, indeed. At times I feel myself with a little bit of an inferiority complex. He is very successful given his current situation...and generally never lets me forget it. I have always, and will always try my best. At times, I feel like he doesn't realize this. We started at two completely different ends of the spectrum....and given my start point...I am doing fucking awesome. I shouldn't have to explain myself (a situation for which I feel as if I am thrust in quite frequently). I should be challenged...yet, more importantly encouraged. I face enough cynics...I need someone to hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be alright. I am a strong chick, for sure. I have the battle scars to prove it. But, being taken seriously as a woman is hard. It changes your world when you actually find a person who believes in and supports you. A person who has your back when you set out to take on the world. The progression from good friend or person you want to fuck into a partnership is an interesting, intense and natural switch. Perhaps I am just rushing things...or have very high expectations and demands. But, it is what it is, and I am who I am.

Oh the struggle.

My second peroid is over. Back on BC. Read a book about relationships called, "The Way of the Superior Man." Every guy and girl I know needs to read that bitch...if you ever want a healthy relationship! Working hard again. Writing a diet and exercise routine tonight. Life is back on schedule, with no real schedule. Its a beautiful thing.