Between my current Zen Flesch and Kerouac binge...Life had to change. The past week or so I have been feeling mildly dejected about my whole male counterpart situation. Its not the person that I am mad about for not further pursuing. I am upset with the situation itself. I am mad because its such bullshit that I felt this huge flood of emotion with nothing as a result.

I am usually compeletely in control of how I feel--And for some reason I lost control at the wheel. I was a fucking wreck--A highly emotional wreck. I just got my peroid for the first time in nearly three months. Freaked out and took a pregnancy test a few weeks ago--It was just stress. I don't want to feel this stressed ever again....Nothing is worth my happiness.

Anyway, I am still a little bit frustrated with hearing my ego instead of my sprit guides with regards to this dude. It was my mistake, something inside of me was off. So strange, gut feelings are usually correct. I guess there is still a 10% likliness of error. Ew.

At least I am capiable of knowing that I can open up to someone. Just have to be more highly selective. Part of me wants to go back to the mindset that all men are skeezey douche bags, not that I am bitter or anything. ;) I remember my days of befriending the pick up artists. How hilarious--The social dynamics are so much fun to play with and examine.

I want to go out tonight in-cognito. Wear a hat, all black and just play with people. That always makes me happy. :)

The traffic here SUCKS. I really should go out in public, even if just to work. It'll be good for me I think. Incase there isn't internet there...Was great talking to you. Oh, I recorded some videos but, my photobooth app fucked up and only recorded 5 seconds worth of material. So bogus. Anyway, when I figure out the problem and grow big enough balls to actually get, "On stage," they'll be some new content for you. Otherwise, thought it may be a nice edition to start posting photos as well. Therefore, I took a picture of me today...Just so you can get a vibe of my general composure.

Namaste. :)