everything is happening so fast...the future is already the past.

It seems that I only log on this bitch when there are significant ideological shifts. Well, I guess that's what highlights are, right?

Anyway, as always...the times are a'changing. I found someone that is seemingly amazing. We get along on multiple levels....and I feel that same obsessive love feeling that has been absent since Dan. Though, what differs is the fact that moderation must be exercised. He has his own life and I have mine. Where as before my relationship with Dan was more or less the formation of one person with one identity--which isn't healthy. I think that most of the problems spawned from the fact that Dan didn't have a job, was a raging alkie (and not a happy drunk either) and lacked motivation. Julian is the total opposite, thank God.

There were some constant internal struggles I have faced with Julian. He, himself is such a special person. Though, when he is around his friends (that are pick-up artists) I feel highly uncomfortable. Not sure if its a "me thing" or not. The depth of conversation is lacking around them. Or perhaps we just have varied interests. ...And by varied interests I mean that my opinion about things is automatically wrong because I am a female. Although, what would I know about the female psyche...I'm only a girl. :/ Its hard to accept that your perspective is automatically discounted based on this old-school mentality. Not in any way saying that I am right and they are wrong...life is just perspective. Period. I guess understanding that is a concept a bit too advanced for those playful kids. As always, I wish them nothing but the best in their future endeavors.

With regards to my past issues at hand: Dan and I's break-up was absolutely heinous. Fuck, that shit sucked. I really don't want to go through that again. As is life. You can't give up the highs in fear of the lows. You will never be happy if you can never loosen up and take a few risks every now and then.

Ryan is a truly amazing person. Our break-up was kinda awkward. He didn't handle it with really any degree of tact or maturity. Although, that was somewhat expected. I know one day, hopefully soon, he will be able to communicate with me like an adult....and I am sure it is only a matter of time before we become close friends again. His talents and personality are far too outstanding to live without in my life. Obviously, him and I on a romantic level (non-existent) did not really mesh...but, our ideas, creativity, vigor and work-ethic will change the world for generations to come.

I miss Chicago like a bitch. I cannot even express in words how much I miss my close friends. I really want them to see my sister and I's pool house. Meet with Julian, Remo, Jeff, Hady, Emily and others for which I have grown fond of. Give me some perspective on my new little niche on Earth. All of this is happening so fast...The future is already the past.

Equinox received my 2 weeks notice a few days ago. Decided that its time I start something on my own. I have a couple of private clients...have to work like hell to build a few more. Next post I'll elaborate.

Til then...

Ciao

long journey short...

The past couple of months in review. Sorry on the delay...Its been crazy.