thoughts into actions

Spectacular places, pretty faces, fancy cars, exclusive bars. Life used to be so glamorous--things used to be so fabulous. Times change, locations re-arrange, influences are variable, some of them better--others terrible. Through all of these changes, life's small and large occasions mind-set variations. Tired of the struggle. Out of the rat race. Success is not just your talent but knowing how to use it to benefit your brothers.

I am not great. I am just part of the human race. I have my faults and problems. But, rather than give up I will solve them. At least accept that I can use my talent to set me apart from the rest. I can be the best. I can have a big chest and be featured on your wide screen set.

Today's insecurities are brought on by yesterday's shortcomings. The lack of using my ability to become who I want to be. I put myself in a box. Hit myself in the head with a rock. Refusing to acknowledge what I have and then locking that talent up.

Now I am personally liberated. My fears have jumped ship and vacated, have been evacuated. I am on a six-week conquest. To make the better, the best. To give up all potential of regret and live the life that I request.

From this day forward I pledge to be who I am. Whether that means I eat roast duck in France or french fries from a Mc Donald's garbage can. I don't give a fuck what others think because they serve only in personal interest. With new found interest in my interests the sky is the limit.

Always Remember...

The porn producers drive Bentleys. Porn stars drive Mercedes.

VIVA NOVEMER!

After a long time of pondering...I realized what it was that I liked about getting into the personal training business--Starting a business.

I hate the fact that I am so obsesso with entrepreneurship. But, it is what it is and I am who I am, yes? I am not going to jump ship on my personal training empire. I still want that bitch to take off. This week I am back to hitting the pavement to pass out flyers in an effort to obtain new clients.

My new venture is Fugatu. I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks..good or bad. I am hell-bent on making this work. Julian and I started a viral media firm developing web apps that are used through social networking sites. We (I) sell advertising in the form of video player sponsorship, and 15 second ads both before and after the user-generated content is played. If we sell all three spots/video its about $1/play we will be bringing in. So, when we get 10,000 hits in a week that means we just made $10,000. Not a bad deal for a week's work. Mind you that is just one application.

I have tried starting similar businesses in the past but, found some problems with people actually following through. Tomorrow we will become a fully-functioning LLC. Its going to be a proud day...my first corporation. Shots of tequila for all! : )

God, I hope more than nothing else in the world that this idea actually pans out. It seems that the past year or so I have been plagued with ill-fated ventures. I will not make excesses for my actions (or lack there of). Though, I am willing to bet my retirement on this idea. If that isn't serious--not sure what is. Failure is part of success. I can tell you that I have lived many failures and learned volumes of what and what not to do.

I met up with Fabio last week and he is down for a trade agreement in order to promote Fugatu. This is huge. I cannot even begin to explain how exciting all of these developments are.

At this point in the game where I am a fucking slumlord...plotting and scheming in termite-infested, totally retro guest house. Success seems so far off. But, I have this feeling deep down inside of me--Its finally my time. I learned the value of value. I know what it takes. I know how hard you have to work, thanklessly. But, I know it will all be worth it. FUGATU, BITCHES. Hold me to it, please?

Also, little Jajoura has a mild obsession with my panties. She goes through all the laundry to find em and hides them under the bed in her little domain. Its kind funny, and strkingly odd at the same time. Whatever makes her happy I suppose.

Julian and I had a relaxing day at the park with baby dijajurno. It was nice. : )

This week is going to be chalked-full of training, promoting, networking, personal achievements, marketing and making cash money! Speaking of work...one of my clients finally paid me after 5 weeks! I never want to be this poor again. And I wont.

From the past...

I burn. I thrive on intellectual stimulation and creativity. I choose productivity over sleep. Engaging conversation gives my life purpose. I like to work out, laugh, smile, read, write and think.

You were in a vision. It was tropical, the air thick and the scenery absolutely gorgeous. There were giant fuscia and tangerine flowers blooming that contrasted beautifully against the lush green backdrop. We were meeting in secret about something. It wasn't clear what exactly. Others were gathered with us in a circle. There was a magnificent energy--almost an electricity in the air. All the blooms gave a sweet quality to the warm, heavy air. I tried to absorb all details knowing my stay here would be short. Though, feeling it in my heart and soul that this was not the first nor the last time I would see these strikingly familiar faces or enchanted landscape. I awoke.

NLP

The past 72 hours have been some of the most intense times of my life.

Mental fatigue--Information overload.

Once I regain "normal" cognitive function, Ill elaborate. My brain is starting to work in ways I never imagined possible. Nor have felt in a very long time. Never underestimate the power of auto-suggestion.

Chris Howard "Designing Your Destiny:" Day 1

Today was my first day of Chris Howard's seminar, "Designing Your Destiny." I must admit, it was a little bit different than I initially anticipated.

I walk into a foyer at the Hilton in Universal City to find a large population of older people (including one lady rocking out a moo-moo). This rather uncomfortable situation posed a rather interesting position for me. I was looking around to see my friend Barham (my friend that offered me the $5,000 ticket to this seminar), but couldn't find him in the rather unusual group of characters. Now, don't get me wrong: I thought some of these people were pretty cool. But, while waiting in the second line to register as a guest (a rather annoying scenario trying to find my way to the sign up)...I had SEVERAL people cut me in line. Given the content presented in these seminars, I was rather taken aback by the previously mentioned rude behavior. You'd imagine a room full of life coaches would understand how to wait in line. It was moderately shocking to see that they did not.

Anyway, after passing through what seemed like the gates of hell (perhaps it was my lack of glucose that shaped my perspective), I finally entered into a candle lit room. Now, I am not going to lie to you saying that all of this excited me. I would say that the moments that passed over the previous few days were full of more excitement and anticipation than when I entered the conference. I was there for a reason so I consciously decided to make the best of the day regardless of the fact that I thought this entire seminar seemed like bullshit.

It took me a good 3 hours to get into what the class instructor was saying. In all honesty, there was so much information being thrust at me I really can't even recall any details in the lessons. Good thing I have a 200 page guide book to refer back to! ;) Back on point--There were lots of hugs, congratulations, hypnosis, letting go, absurdities, visualization, etc. that we went over today. I learned how to decode my dreams. People were crying. Imagine gospel church meets self-help. We laid out our "Bullshit Story" of limitations, made a complete mockery of it and let it go by ripping the very paper it was written on and throwing it as the confetti to enhance our celebration of new found personal freedom.

I was guided through stories of what inspires me in both my professional and personal realms. I learned the two different worlds that I was living in and how I had to make the conscious decision to life in one or the other.

I was hypnotized into this transe where I saw my own destiny if I didn't live out my passion and my dreams versus the realm where I did.

I have no idea how to describe what I went through--Perhaps this illocial rampage will make a bit more sense after tomorrow's seminar. All I know right now is everything I once thought and believed was all my perception of my own reality. Now that I have broken though the boundaries that I placed on myself, my potential is much greater than I ever imagined. I went from being in a closed box to this entity of everything and nothing all at the same time. I can feel in my heart of hearts that something happened--There was a definite change in who I am now and who I was this morning. I am just not sure what happened or how I am going to move into action.

Until tomorrow...