everything is happening so fast...the future is already the past.

It seems that I only log on this bitch when there are significant ideological shifts. Well, I guess that's what highlights are, right?

Anyway, as always...the times are a'changing. I found someone that is seemingly amazing. We get along on multiple levels....and I feel that same obsessive love feeling that has been absent since Dan. Though, what differs is the fact that moderation must be exercised. He has his own life and I have mine. Where as before my relationship with Dan was more or less the formation of one person with one identity--which isn't healthy. I think that most of the problems spawned from the fact that Dan didn't have a job, was a raging alkie (and not a happy drunk either) and lacked motivation. Julian is the total opposite, thank God.

There were some constant internal struggles I have faced with Julian. He, himself is such a special person. Though, when he is around his friends (that are pick-up artists) I feel highly uncomfortable. Not sure if its a "me thing" or not. The depth of conversation is lacking around them. Or perhaps we just have varied interests. ...And by varied interests I mean that my opinion about things is automatically wrong because I am a female. Although, what would I know about the female psyche...I'm only a girl. :/ Its hard to accept that your perspective is automatically discounted based on this old-school mentality. Not in any way saying that I am right and they are wrong...life is just perspective. Period. I guess understanding that is a concept a bit too advanced for those playful kids. As always, I wish them nothing but the best in their future endeavors.

With regards to my past issues at hand: Dan and I's break-up was absolutely heinous. Fuck, that shit sucked. I really don't want to go through that again. As is life. You can't give up the highs in fear of the lows. You will never be happy if you can never loosen up and take a few risks every now and then.

Ryan is a truly amazing person. Our break-up was kinda awkward. He didn't handle it with really any degree of tact or maturity. Although, that was somewhat expected. I know one day, hopefully soon, he will be able to communicate with me like an adult....and I am sure it is only a matter of time before we become close friends again. His talents and personality are far too outstanding to live without in my life. Obviously, him and I on a romantic level (non-existent) did not really mesh...but, our ideas, creativity, vigor and work-ethic will change the world for generations to come.

I miss Chicago like a bitch. I cannot even express in words how much I miss my close friends. I really want them to see my sister and I's pool house. Meet with Julian, Remo, Jeff, Hady, Emily and others for which I have grown fond of. Give me some perspective on my new little niche on Earth. All of this is happening so fast...The future is already the past.

Equinox received my 2 weeks notice a few days ago. Decided that its time I start something on my own. I have a couple of private clients...have to work like hell to build a few more. Next post I'll elaborate.

Til then...

Ciao

long journey short...

The past couple of months in review. Sorry on the delay...Its been crazy.

An Ode...

Its been quite sometime since we last enthralled ourselves in engaging correspondence. Hopefully life has been nothing short of stellar for you and the countless loved ones entangled within your existence. The weather has finally broke, birds are chirping and Mother Nature is flaunting her majestic beauty to us once again. Regardless of our prior speculations that she had a vendetta against the stern and forgiving skyline of Chicago and surrounding suburbscape (perhaps she didn’t know that Wisconsin is responsible for our volatile beaches) Mother Nature finally blew the winds of change in our favor. I am sure you took in that much needed breath of fresh air and vitality.

My prior condition must have been oxygen definency…because, after my first deep yoga breath of that warm, life-infused breeze--my life suddenly changed course. The breath must have been more lie one hell-of-a gasp because the seasons suddenly changed from an icy winter to the most temperate, sunny day of summer. I am not sure if the shift was prompted by a spontaneous change of life philosophy but, it seemed reasonable not to question it. After all, ignorance is sometimes bliss (so it seems). I blindly rode on my newly re-discovered and long-awaited wind current. The wind system must have been part of a mid-latitude cyclone because I had a few run-ins with some lightening but, was thankfully spared. Then, at what seemed to be the exact moment when the tropopause was reached, a giant gust snatched me and started to tumultuously blow in the direction of the pacific. Like a seedling of a mighty oak tree on a brisk day in fall, I blew, flew, twisted and turned until I landed. So, here I am in Los Angeles. A new seedling finally sprouting roots.

Long story abridged…A couple of weeks ago my family found out that my brother needs a kidney transplant. Being the member of my family who had the least amount of responsibilities in Chicago--I offered to move to LA in order to help him out and offer up an organ. So, within five-days I had my car packed and ready for my cross-country relocation. Within a couple days of being in LA I got a job as a personal trainer at the Equinox Fitness in West Hollywood (one of the top gyms in the country). For a 21-year-old with a Marketing Degree this job is heaven-sent. Within a few months I will be working with celebrity clients, which illustrates to me I am the luckiest girl in the world. The scenery and weather is beautiful. My brother is doing quite well (all things considered). And, I wake up every morning with a smile. Life is good. : )

Wishing you everything…

Sweet Jesus

the past seven days have been out of control...

My brother got very sick out of nowhere. It turns out that he needs a kidney transplant. I am beckoned by my parents out to LA.

So, within five days the following aspects of my life dramatically changed:
-Quit my job at the Euro sports bar
-Move to a different geographical region than my significant other
-Move out of my apartment
-Change career paths
-Get rid of the majority of my belongings...again. Anything that wouldn't fit in the back of my stang had to go.
-Sick family member
-BAF

I left Chicago with 18 dollars in my bank account...

24 hours in review

its been quite a while since I have actually had the drive/ambition/dedication/need to write here. I try to develop this whole "blogging" thing as a habit. Though, as pretty much all other half-assed efforts that I have undertaken, I have failed. But, no use being hard on myself. All I can do is alter my behaviors for the future. So here I am.

Pretty sure that my body is falling apart. Beer wenching is a lot more physically demanding than I originally remembered. Sure, when I was young + enduring...I got off work and felt tired and shit. But now, I have fucking cankles. hahaha...no, really. Quite depressing, but fuck it. I think its more funny than sad. Just have to get that shit fixed so I can have joints normal size. Rather than that of a 349lb lady. Its my own fault for not altering any lifestyle behaviors to actually heal. Instead, I decided to keep up with my normal amount of physical activity due to my addiction. Now, the consequences I face (which I will officially know on friday) may far negatively outweigh the initial resting period. Whatev though. Not much I can do about it now.

Last weekend I also had this grand realization about life. It was that I am searching for something that I already have. All I want in life is to be happy. Well, as poor and fuct my body is...I haven't been happier in years. I laugh hard, smile often and feel fucking awesome. People work to have nice shit, some security and visit beautiful places. I can truly say that I am living the life of my dreams. Working hard of course, but my job isn't too stressful outside of work where it messes with my quality of life. Other than when I fell asleep last night mid-post and kept having Fado nightmares. haha...Damn them!

Today I am off to Columbia to meet with a former teacher (and group leader) from when I went to Africa. I find out this afternoon how I will be helping to re-brand South Africa. Fuck yeah! I hope its something semi-significant. If not, it really doesn't matter. As long as I am contributing in some way.

Also, I am going to pick up a new Moleskin. So stoked. I have been too poor to get one. Its quite sad because writing is my bread and butter. The only place I have ever had the commintment to write in is my moleskin. So, fuck. I midas well just break down and pay the $18. Though, going up 50% in price over the course of a year is an outrage and I hate taking it in the ass like that. But, as is life.

Ill keep you posted on the Africa thing. And wish me luck with having the commintment to actually study for the LSATS. Otherwise, I may be waiting tables the rest of my life. : (


Later Gators..

gaps in history

Passions:

Love
Family
The Universe
Learning
Thinking
Communication
Risk
Reward
Entrepreneurship
Perception
Facts
Travel
Motivating Myself
Motivating Others
Being Passionate
Assisting in Individuals Pursuit of their Passion
Making People Laugh/Smile
Laughing/Smiling
Engaging in Intellectual Conversations
Discussing Philosophy
Discussing American Public Policies
Economics
Taking to Strangers
Awkwardness
Running
Biking
Reading
Lifting
Yoga
Starting Shit
Fresh Fruit
Eating Protein
Puppies
The Ocean
Good Red Wine
Nice Tea
Sunsets
Thunderstorms in the Summer
Frozen Yogurt
Stars on a Clear Night
Art-Any Medium
The Color Gold
Tropical Climates